With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we often find ourselves surrounded by "warm fuzzies"—greeting cards, chocolates, and stories of effortless romance. But for the follower of Jesus, love is something much deeper and, frankly, much more painful.

In our recent study of 1 Corinthians 13, we discovered that this famous "Love Chapter" wasn't written as a romantic poem for a wedding. It was a correction for a church that was failing to love one another.

The Great Correction

The church in Corinth was obsessed with spiritual gifts—tongues, prophecy, and miraculous faith. Paul’s message to them (and us) is clear: You can speak with the tongues of angels and move mountains, but if you don’t have love, you are just an abrasive, clanging cymbal.

Love is the "flavor" that makes spiritual gifts good. Without it, the most miraculous works are worthless.

The Pain of the Definition

When we look at Paul’s list of what love is, we see why it hurts:

  • Patience hurts because it means letting someone fail and try again while they exhaust your time and resources.

  • Kindness hurts because it requires being "useful" when you feel depleted.

  • Keeping no record of wrongs hurts because it means you "cancel the debt" and absorb the cost of the wound yourself instead of passing the pain back.

  • Bearing all things (the Greek word stegō) means acting as a "roof"—taking the beating of the hail and rain so those inside don't have to.

The Source and the Shield

If you try to love like this on your own steam, you will be destroyed. You were never meant to be the infinite source of love; you are a vessel. We love because Jesus first loved us exactly this way. He was patient with us. He kept no record of our wrongs. He bore the cross as our roof.

However, a vital reminder: Love is not a doormat. Jesus loved people while calling out their sin, and He walked away from those who sought to harm Him. Loving someone does not mean participating in their sin or submitting to abuse. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is remove yourself from a situation to stop someone from continuing to sin against you.

This Week’s Challenge

This Valentine’s Day, don't just look for the "warm fuzzies." Look for the opportunity to love someone in a way that costs you something. Because when love hurts for the sake of another, you are standing at the very heart of God.